


No rain No flowers

by PalawanDreamer



Category: La casa de papel | Money Heist (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst and Drama, Drama & Romance, F/M, Falling In Love, First Love, Fluff and Smut, Might trigger some people, True Love, serquel
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-28
Updated: 2021-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-14 12:35:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 14,543
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29046243
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PalawanDreamer/pseuds/PalawanDreamer
Summary: After her divorce, Raquel thought she was destined to be lonely. But then her life changed completely, like a miracle. A journey through ups and downs in which two loving people have to face many hurdles. Whether it was really worth everything in the end and if fate gives them a chance? And it all started with a meeting with their friends...Serquel AU
Relationships: Raquel Murillo/Professor | Sergio Marquina
Comments: 25
Kudos: 63





	1. Lonely

**Author's Note:**

> Hello friends, this is my new story, I am glad that I can finally share it with you. It's just a fic with a bit drama and angst, but don't worry there will be enough, that is just about love. 
> 
> I hope you’ll like it, and please ignore grammatical mistakes if there are any (I’m sure there are😳) English is not my native language.😅
> 
> Thanks to Emma as always for reading this beforehand.❤️
> 
> Have fun!

An exhausting working day was over. Raquel put some documents, on which she had worked on, in a folder putting it back on the shelf. She was glad that Angel, her work colleague, had left earlier. She couldn’t have endured his annoying talk much longer. After putting on her jacket, she grabbed her bag and went to the door.

  
  
However, she couldn’t open it because in the next moment Angel was standing right in front of her. He took a step towards her and she, automatically, took one back. The man had a stubborn expression on his face and probably came because he wanted to discuss the matter between them, _again_.

  
  
“Can we talk Raquel? Please.”

  
  
Oh, she was so tired of these conversations with him. He had asked her out on a date just this morning. And as always, she refused. It wasn't like he was rude or particularly ugly, but she just wasn't ready for anything like that.

  
  
After her divorce, she had actually swore that she would never have a romantic relationship again. But she had to admit that whenever she watched those stupid soups on TV, she missed it. She missed having someone. Someone who showed her what it means to love, someone who showed her what it means to be loved.

  
  
“No, Angel. Please let me go.” She didn’t even looked at him and tried to walk past him.

  
  
He stopped her. “Can’t we at least give it a try? You do not even know me. I am sure if we would get to know each other better then—“

  
“Stop! Yeah that’s the point. I don’t even know you. And now would you please give me the honor and step aside?” Raquel waved her hand.

  
  
Angel gave her a confused look. He didn't know her past exactly, the only thing he knew was that she was divorced. But there was more. Something he didn't know and _couldn't know_. Something only she knew. It wasn't his fault. Technically he wasn't doing anything wrong, he just asked her out and…

  
  
_Stop_ , why did she think he couldn't help it? Of course he could help it, he asked her every damn day if she had time for him. And she said every day no, so it was clear, right?

  
  
“Angel I really don't have time for that now. Maybe another day.”

  
  
She was about to leave when he pulled her close to him with his hands on her waist. Raquel’s eyes widened.

  
  
“Come on. Just today.” He whispered in her ear.

  
  
Her heart skipped a beat. She starred in horror but then she quickly broke away from him. Her breathing was still very fast. Then after taking a few steps away from him, she managed to grab the door handle. Okay now he actually did something wrong, what did he think of touching her like that? He was her work colleague and nothing more.

  
  
“No.” She whispered fearfully and went through the door.

...

When she finally left the large glass building, she took a deep breath of the cold air. It had been snowing for about an hour and a thin layer of snow formed on the road. She was sure that the buses would be canceled soon. So she hurried to get the bus. On the way to the bus stop she rummaged in her bag. After a short search she finally found what she was looking for. She took out the small pack and pulled out a cigarette. Her hands almost froze, but she just couldn't resist.

  
  
Arrived at the bus stop, she looked at the list to find out when the next bus is coming. A sigh in annoyance escaped her lips when she saw that the next bus was coming in twenty minutes. She was almost glad when she finally finished the cigarette so she could put her hands back into her warm pockets. It was always cold in february, but so cold? _It was almost march!_ When she has just got used to the pleasant temperature in her pockets, her phone rang.

  
  
Oh come on, _really?_  


  
She took it out of her purse and saw her best friend's name lit up on the display. She picked up.

  
  
“Hi Alicia.” She noticed herself smiling.

  
  
“Heyyy Raquelll! How are you, love?” Alicia said enthusiastically on the other end of the line.

  
“I’m fine. How are you?” Raquel asked.  


  
“Me too. But my mood would be even better if we could see each other today. How about in an hour?” The redhead suggested.  


  
“Yes of course, I have time. What should I have planned?”

  
  
“Oh I don’t know…maybe a date or something?” Alicia responded.

  
  
“Please stop talking about that.”

  
  
“Oh why? Something happened? Wait stop...tell me later. I'll be there at five.” With these words she hung up without Raquel even being able to say goodbye. She smiled and put her phone back in her purse.

  
  
She was looking forward to Alicia’s visit because normally nobody came to visit her. Except for her best friend, of course. Not even her mother, she lived with her sister and always said that it was too far away to visit her. However, she did not believe this. Since her mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer's, she rarely made decisions on her own. Her sister tended to tell her what to say, and it often ended up like that.

  
  
But at least she could still call her. She always did that when she felt lonely, or at least most of the time. After all, she couldn't call her mother every three minutes. While she was thinking about it, she saw the lights of the bus in the distance. Finally. She was about to freeze to death at any moment.  


  
She grumbled quietly, when she remembered that she had ten minutes to walk before she would get home. The snow was getting more and more and soon she couldn't see anything through the window of the bus. What if she didn't make it home? But in the end it didn't matter because nobody was waiting there for her anyway.

  
  
Well...maybe Alicia. She smiled.

  
  
The bus reached the stop and Raquel got out. The icy wind came like a slap in her face. It almost hurt. And even now she could hardly see anything, but she knew way home very well, which is why it wasn’t a problem for her to find the front door of her flat.  


  
…  


  
When she was finally in her apartment, she took off her boots and threw them away. One more day, then it will be friday. She thought and letting herself fall on the couch.

  
  
Her eyes closed almost by themselves and she pulled the blanket towards her. She dozed off and soon fell asleep. After a little nap she heard the doorbell. She went to the door and opened it. As soon she saw her, Alicia greeted her with a close hug.

  
  
“Heyy my dear!” Alicia said. “You look tired.” She realized.  


  
“I am.”

  
  
She was really happy to have a friend like Alicia. She was always there for her and took her in her arms when she felt bad. They had known each other since elementary school and have always been best friends. She is also the only friend she had after her and Alberto's divorce.

  
  
“Come in.”

  
  
Raquel took two glasses out of the cabinet and a bottle of wine, then both of them sat down on the couch. She poured the liquid into the glasses and handed one to Alicia, ready for an enjoyable evening with her best friend.

  
  
Alicia gave her an interested look. “So tell me, how it’s going?”

  
  
“Well actually as always. Angel is still asking me out on a date every day and the work is very exhausting. I am lonely as always and I have a horrible lack of sex.” She said in a disappointed tone.

  
  
“Oh dear, I'm sorry for you. _Especially_ the sex thing.” She gave her a pityingly look.

  
  
Raquel laughed sadly. “If only there were men who could make me feel real things.”  


  
“I’m sure these exist.” She said with a mischievous grin.

  
  
“Alicia No! Don’t start with this again. I don’t want any blind dates or such apps on which I’m supposed to find a partner.”

  
  
“Just saying.” Her best friend said innocently. “But you really need a dick. You are really annoying when you are so withdrawn.” She said jokingly.  


  
“And what if it’s a pussy?”

  
  
“That could also work.” Alicia made a thoughtful expression. Raquel raised her eyebrows.

  
  
“Yes yes…it was a joke, but sure.” She said sarcastically.

  
  
The women kept talking. Raquel was really happy to have some company. But after a while she noticed that Alicia looked at her phone more often than usual. Did she have new friends? Or a relationship that she didn't know about? Or was her best friend hiding something?  


  
She tried to ignore it and continued to concentrate on the conversation. Alicia had a lot to tell, her life was much more exciting than that of Raquel. She had a new job again. This time in a company that made fancy and really expensive ties. Alicia seemed happy about her new employment.

  
  
“And that’s how I met Andres and Silene.”

  
  
Raquel listened to her quietly. How much she wanted new friends or at least acquaintances.

  
  
“They introduced me to their friends and we now often meet at Andres' home. He lives there with his husband Martin. Then there are Monica and Daniel. Silene has a boyfriend, his name is Aniabl. Also Mirko, he's always very kind and keeps everyone together. When you are sad he gives you a big hug. I think you could need this too.” Alicia looked at her friend. “And Agata, she's very nice. So there we are. Or even though…No! Sergio, how could I forget him? He is Andres’ brother, but mostly sits still and rarely says anything.”

  
  
Raquel had averted her eyes from her. So she had _new_ friends after all. She just hoped that Alicia wouldn't forget her, so that she would be completely alone.  


  
“So you’re ten people?” Raquel asked in astonishment.

  
  
Of course she was glad that Alicia had new and above all so many friends. But it still worried her, maybe Alicia would forget her one day. But Raquel couldn't blame her for that. Of course she also had a life outside of their friendship. And herself too. She had to remind herself of that sometimes.  


  
It worried her that Alicia might have a new relationship next week while she would be forever alone with her five cats. Admittedly, she also had very high demands on men. She didn't even let Angel come near her, he practically begged for her attention, but she probably thought he didn't deserve her. Maybe it was her who didn't deserve him or rather anyone.

  
  
With a waving hand she was taken out of her thoughts. Alicia probably noticed that she was somewhere else.

  
  
“Heyy earth to Raquel. Are you okay, why are you so absent?”

  
  
“Oh uhm…no, it’s nothing.” Nervously, she tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear.

  
  
A bit of time passed and Raquel kept looking through the window. She was watching the birds rather than listening to Alicia. Those birds had a good life out there, they always had company. Then at some point her best friend stopped talking and looked at her watch.

  
  
“Ouh I have to go now. It was really nice with you. Please let me know if you need anything or anyone okay, love? Alicia hugged her, still smirking. 

  
  
“Sure.” A soft laugh escaped Raquel’s lips. Her best friend was really irreplaceable. She thought.

  
  
…  


  
Alicia left and Raquel went back to the fridge and took out the wine bottle. Quickly she realized that she was really pretty alone, but then the thought occurred to her that she hadn't heard from her mother for a long time and she decided to give her a call. Slowly she went to her phone and dialed the number from her sister's phone. She just hoped it was her mother who would answer.

  
  
As soon as the phone rang, Raquel started nervously walking through her living room. She held the phone with one hand and her glass of wine with the other. Why the hell was she so tense talking to her mother? Possibly it was because they hadn't really spoken to each other for almost three months. Every time she called, her sister said their mother had no time. Raquel knew, however, that Laura simply didn't want the two talking to each other, so that she was now completely alone.  


  
But then after the most nerve-wracking thirty seconds of her life someone finally answered it.

  
  
“Hello, who is that?” She heard her mother's voice. She breathed a sigh of relief, finally she could talk to her again.

  
  
“Hey…it’s…it’s Raquel, Mamma, your daughter…” Raquel managed to say.

  
  
“Ohh Raquel, darling.” Marivi was happy. “How are you?”

  
  
Raquel couldn't help but smile. Today was probably one of her luckiest days. Even though her mother was still in the early stages of the disease, she still sometimes didn't remember certain things, even her. Especially if they hadn't seen or even heard from each other in so long.

She didn't notice how a few tears escaped her eyes. “I’m fine, mom, thanks. How about you?” She asked shyly.

  
  
“Well, as always I think. But it's okay.” She paused. “We haven't seen each other for a long time, is there anything new with you? A new job or is there a man in your life?” She asked interested.

  
  
_Why did it always have to be something about love?_ Raquel asked herself. She had to give the same answer every time, so what was the point?  


  
“Uhm…no, nothing new.”  


  
“Oh honey, why not? You know since Alberto and your sister didn't want to have children, I have to put all my expectations on you now. I want to be a grandma too.” She almost begged.  


  
Why did she have to ask that every time? No, nothing had changed in her status as a single, and she wasn't expecting that anytime soon. She was just a lonely soul who would probably never find the right one. But why was she worried about it? Her last relationship, or rather her marriage, was terrible and she didn't expect anything better.  


  
_All men are bastards._

  
  
Actually she didn't want a relationship at all, but on the other hand she could understand her mother too. Children were a different thing and it was about time, she was already thirty-seven and wasn't getting any younger. Oh if it only were as easy as in all the disney films that she, she had to admit, sometimes watched.

  
  
The rest of the phone call was less satisfactory because Marivi began to talk about the fact that Alberto is no longer as bad as he was to her. Raquel rolled his eyes. _So what?_ Should she go back to him? Should she feel bad about breaking up with the _“perfect”_ son-in-law? Sooner or later he would show his true face, at least to her sister, and she already felt sorry for her. When her mother finally came to an end with her Alberto-talk, Raquel lied and said that she had to hang up now because she has an appointment with Alicia.

  
  
“Alicia? Your best friend? The one you played with so often? I remember, once you built a big cave out of pillows and blankets and when dad came home he got a big shock because everything was messy.” Marivi chuckled.  


  
Raquel laughed at the memory. That was really an unforgettable day, not because they built a cave, they actually built such more often. No, but because of the expression on her father's face. She remembers like it was yesterday. She could hardly keep herself laughing, back then.

After a while they said their goodbyes and Raquel hung up. It was getting late and she decided to go to bed a little earlier today.  


  
…  


  
The thought that she had every evening in bed tormented her. While Alicia might be having fun at a party or with someone, she lay here alone in bed, staring at the ceiling.  


  
But then she had an idea how to get to sleep a little faster. She began to wonder what it would be like if a man were lying next to her now. Maybe his strong arms would be wrapped around her and caress her gently. He would put his lips on her neck and went to her ear with little kisses. Then he would whisper how much _he loves her._ A small smile appeared on her lips and she returned to her fantasies.

  
  
Soon her hands were under her shirt and on her breasts. She imagined that it wasn't her hands running lightly over her nipples and elicited soft moans from her. She couldn't take it any longer and slipped her fingers into her panties. She just needed it now and soon her gasps and moans became louder and louder and she came.

  
  
She was now lying on her back, panting and obviously satisfied. Now it wasn’t so difficult for her to fall asleep and soon she was in her dreams. _Oh if only her fantasies became true._

  
  
…

  
  
The next working day was less exciting, she still had a few documents to go through and was just typing something into her computer when Angel stood in the door. He had puppy eyes and came up to her with a coffee.

  
  
“Here this is for you.” He offered her the cup. “I wanted to apologize about yesterday. I behaved badly. I am sorry.”

  
  
_Badly?_

  
  
Raquel stared at the cup in his hand. _Was he serious?_ He really thought everything would be fine with a cup of coffee. She just smiled, hoping that he would leave as soon as possible. Unfortunately he didn't go and she had to listen to his talk for more minutes. But then, luckily her phone vibrated. She couldn't have listened to him for another second.

  
  
“Excuse me Angel. I have to answer that.” He gave him an apologetic look and picked up her phone.  
Even though it was only Alicia who chatted her “heyyyyy”, Raquel pretended it was really important. Angel seemed emphatic at one point and quickly went back to his desk.

  
  
Raquel then, replied quickly. <<hi al>>

  
  
<<are u free tonight??>>

  
  
<<yes, do you want to take me out? :D>>

  
  
<<something like that ;))>>

  
  
<<ok coool>>

  
  
<<ill pick you up at half past six!>>

  
  
<<see u :)>>

  
  
Then she put her phone to one side and went back to her tasks. But she was really looking forward to tonight. Especially because Alicia took care of everything and she could just enjoy herself.  


  
…  


  
It was evening and Raquel was rushing through her apartment. She was looking for the top she wanted to wear tonight. When she opened the bathroom door, she saw it and quickly reached for it. She finished getting dressed and put on her favorite perfume. At the exact moment when she was ready the doorbell rang. With a big smile she went towards the door and opened to greet Alicia. The redhead was also in a good mood and pulled her into a tight hug.  


  
“So, are you ready?” Alicia grinned at her friend.

  
  
“Yes.” Raquel replied confidently.  


  
The women then went downstairs to Alicia's car and drove off. After about twenty minutes they were almost there and Raquel looked through the window. She had never been in that part of Madrid, and even with Alicia, she couldn't remember ever having been here. So she turned to her in amazement.

  
  
“Alicia, what are we doing here?” She asked.

  
  
“It’s a surprise.” was the only thing she said before she turned her attention back to the road.

  
  
Of course, that only made Raquel more fidgety. She was very impatient and couldn't stand it if you didn't tell her what was going to happen. But she tried not to let it show and to stay calm.

  
  
After another five minutes, Alicia finally parked her car and they got out. Raquel didn't see very much yet as they were in a kind of small alley with only a few cars parked. She looked around and saw that at the end of the street there was a more busy street, it seemed like there were a few cafes and restaurants there. Maybe they would have dinner in some fancy restaurant. She thought.

  
  
“Are you coming?” Alicia called and waved her hand at her.

  
  
“Yes of course.” Raquel focused.

  
  
Both walked along the sidewalk, in the direction of the street that Raquel had already observed. Alicia kept eyeing her with a mischievous grin until they came to a traffic light. When it turned green they quickly crossed the street. Then Raquel looked up to see the large buildings above her. At night they looked much bigger and also a bit _magical._ It felt so good to go out again, she didn't do it for a long time, not even with her best friend. She looked at Alicia next to her and smiled at her.

  
  
“What?” Alicia asked, grinning.

  
  
“Thank you for bringing me here.”

  
  
“Oh really no problem.”

  
  
Raquel considered. She still didn't know what exactly they were going to do. And despite the beautiful view of the city at night, she finally wanted to know Alicia's plans, or at least how long they still had to go.

  
  
“Can’t you finally tell me what we're gonna do?” So she asked.

  
  
“Fine, if the impatient lady here can't wait any longer.” Alicia rolled her eyes. “Do you see the bar over there?” She pointed her finger forward at the end of the street. Raquel saw a small cafe or bar there that was crowded with people. She turned to Alicia and nodded.  


  
Alicia continued. “That's where we'll go.”

  
  
Okay well, that was a nice place but nothing special as Alicia promised. Confused, she looked at her best friend.

  
  
“But we won't be alone.”

  
  
Raquel raised an eyebrow at Alicia's confession. “What does this mean?”

  
  
“Well, I don't want you to get that wrong...but I don't know you seem so unhappy and lonely lately and...” Raquel pondered. Wait, did she actually manage to take her on a blind date without her noticing anything? Suspiciously, she looked at Alicia. “No no no, it's not what you think.” Her best friend said quickly.

  
  
“And what is it then?”  


  
“So I thought maybe it would be nice if you meet some new people again...of course as friends I mean. I'm meeting Andres and Silene and the others tonight, I thought maybe you want to come with me.” Alicia smiled innocently at her.

  
  
Raquel turned her head back to her. She couldn't believe it. Alicia really wanted to introduce her to her new friends. And for the first time in a long time she was really looking forward to something. Being alone has an end, finally.

  
  
She smiled gratefully. “Wow. Thank you, Alicia.” Raquel pulled her into a hug.

  
  
What Raquel didn't know was that this should be the beginning of something beautiful. And with every step she took, she came a little closer to her happiness. The only question was whether this luck wasn't rather misfortune after all. _Maybe blessing in disguise?_

  
And at some point there will come a moment when you can no longer see what is true or what is wrong. At some point you think that everything is perfect so that in the next moment it could collapse all over you. At some point there comes a moment when you’re running out of strength and think about how unfair everything is.

  
  
But that's life. However, if you think so, someone will come and tell you that sometimes life isn’t that unfair after all. Otherwise you would not have found each other. Life can be like that too. _Beautiful._

  
  
Raquel, who was walking towards the building with the greatest joy, didn't know anything about this yet. She didn't know what to expect. Nobody did.

  
  
Maybe the _biggest_ _pain of her life_ (if you don't count her marriage).

  
  
But maybe also the _greatest gift of her life._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and Kudos are really appreciated!!


	2. Ridiculous

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello friends, finally the second chapter, I hope not that it will take so long with each chapter. As always, english is not my native language, so please ignore mistakes. 😅
> 
> Thanks again to Emma for reading this beforehand. <3
> 
> have fun!❤️

The door closed behind them, and they stood in the cafe. A lot of people were there that evening and everyone seemed to be having fun. The music was on a comfortable volume and the pop songs from the radio were playing. Alicia briefly glanced across the room. She seemed to have found what she was searching for and turned to Raquel.

Raquel looked around, amazed by the carefree and happy atmosphere in there. She could hardly believe that she was experiencing this again, just being with a few friends on a Friday evening and having a drink. Maybe she wasn't meant to be completely alone after all. A smile spread across her lips, noticing Alicia pulling her towards a table.

“There they are.” Alicia whispered, pointing inconspicuously at the table.

Raquel looked at the direction on which Alicia’s finger was pointing and examined a large table with a few people sitting around it. Everyone talked and for a short moment she was worried that she would be out of place there and that they might not want her with them. But these thoughts were quickly gone when they finally came to the table. A middle aged man turned to them and stood up.

“Hey Alicia my dear!” He hugged her warmly, then glanced at Raquel. “You must be Raquel right? We’re really glad that you join us. I’m Andrés.” He smiled and embraced her too.

And with that hug, she knew it wasn't a wrong decision to come here, even if she didn't know about it. After introducing herself to everyone else, Raquel sat down. Both, Alicia and Raquel then sat between Agata and Monica. And because at some point Alicia was chatting more and more with Agata, Raquel decided to talk to Monica.

“How long have you all known each other?” Raquel asked interested.

“Well that's hard to say, I don't know exactly either because I wasn't there from the start.” Monica began. “In the beginning there were just Andrés, Martin and Sergio.” She looked at the three men. Raquel followed her gaze and saw Andres laughing about something with Alicia and Agata. Martin was talking to Mirko while he tried to include Sergio, who was only sitting quietly at the end of the table, in the conversation.

Monica continued. “And well after that, we got more and more, just like you got into it now. By the way, I am very happy that you are now part of us. Finally a woman again. Sometimes you could really think, they are still _toddlers_ but in adult bodies.” The blonde laughed.

“Is it that bad?” Raquel chuckled.

“Okay, not all of them are like that. Mostly it's just Martin, Anibal and Daniel. Mirko, for example, is not that bad.” Monica looked at them.

Raquel was glad that Monica introduced her to everyone a little closer. But she quickly noticed something. Monica talked about everyone in the group. Everyone, _except_ Sergio. Didn't she like him? She glanced at the man, who was just adjusting his glasses. Was he different from the others and the only reason he was sitting there, was because his brother wanted him there? Now Raquel was curious.

“What about Sergio?” Raquel asked quietly, so that no one else, especially Sergio, could hear.

Monica thought for a moment. “Well, I don't know him that good. To be honest, I may have only spoken to him once or twice. Actually he's always with Andres or Martin, I think women makes him feel a bit _uncomfortable_.”

Raquel wondered. “Women makes him feeling uncomfortable?” She raised her eyebrow. “Is he gay?”

Monica had to suppress her laugh. “Gay? He? No, I do not think so. He is much more asexual I would say, because as far as I know he never had a serious relationship, so that's what his brother says every time.”

“He never had a relationship?” She wondered. She looked at the man and studied him closely. He kept adjusting his glasses with his thumb and forefinger in a fluid and practiced movement. He looked very handsome with his slightly curly hair falling on his forehead. And he was wearing a suit. She wasn't sure if there was a special occasion today or if he’s always dressed like that. The second option would be pretty cute, Raquel thought.

“Uhm…no. I’m not sure, but I don’t think so.” Monica replied to her previous question, noticing Raquel was starring at Sergio.

“By the way, his birthday was yesterday, that’s because we actually met today.” Monica said. Raquel averted her gaze from Sergio and looked at the blonde.

“Oh really? How rude of me, I haven't congratulated yet.”

“Maybe that's better that way, I think he would rather prefer it if we didn't even know his birthday. He doesn't like attention thatmuch.”

Raquel had a thoughtful expression as she focused back on Sergio. “I see.”

…

Sergio wasn't actually the person who would go out at all, but Andres somehow always managed to convince him to come along. So also on this evening, Andres promised him that nobody would pay attention to the fact that his birthday was the previous day. But to his horror, Martin, Silene, Anibal and Mirko congratulated him anyway.

He never really liked his birthday because he could never celebrated it in his childhood. And when he was finally out of the hospital, he decided it would be better if he kept it. After all, except for his brother, nobody would come anyway. But he didn't regret it. He was completely satisfied with how he spent his birthdays, with a cup of tea and a good book.

But for about two years it changed. His brother officially announced his relationship with Martin two years ago and married him a short time later. The three of them met more often in Hanoi and at some point Silene joined them, Sergio didn't know the exact background but she was a work colleague of Martin and Andres. After a few meetings, Silene's boyfriend, Anibal, was there too. And so he ended up in this group. He didn’t know them very well because he rarely spoke to anyone except Martin and Andres. But still, on his last birthday, almost everyone had congratulated him.

Now he didn't want to hear any more about this topic and stayed in his seat, looking through the window, the whole time. After about half an hour, he heard his brother say something and looked from the window in his direction.

“Someone new will join us today.” He said. “Her name is Raquel and she is a friend of Alicia.”

_Someone new, again._ Sergio thought and rolled his eyes. He didn't like it when new people came into his life. After all, he had to spend time with them too, even if only sitting quietly at the edge of the table. 

From his seat he had a good view at the entrance door of the cafe and stared at it. He knew what Alicia looked like and soon he saw her entering the room. At first he didn't see who exactly the other person was. But then Sergio saw her talking to another woman. That had to be her. _Raquel._ When he thought about it, he realized that her name was quite _beautiful._

His eyes followed her as she walked to their table. He looked at her closely and noticed that she seemed to be excited. He took a sip of his beer and turned his gaze back to Martin, who was sitting in front of him. But he quickly caught himself missing the sight of her and allowed him a quick look at her. Raquel talked to Monica and then they both laughed at something. When he could hear the sound of her voice a little more clearly, he was sure that it was the most lovely melody he had ever heard. He couldn't help but smile a little.

He was happy for her that she had found someone to talk to so quickly. The conversation seemed to be interesting, maybe he was trying to overhear something, but it wasn't so successful because the conversations and laughter between him and the two women, were quite loud. He wished he had the same talent as Monica, that he could talk to strangers so well. But unfortunately he wasn't able to do so, otherwise he would be sure that he would have joined them on the first occasion.

He just kept staring and suddenly she turned her head in his direction. Their eyes met for a millisecond before he quickly turned away.

What was that? He noticed how fast he was breathing.

_ Why was he instantly so nervous? Was it really that bad looking at someone? Was he already so socially awkward that it was too much to look somebody in the eyes? _

He thought as he looked through the window next to him, although it was already dark.

He bit his lower lip and adjusted his glasses. Slowly, he dared to turn his head back in the direction of the others. How much he wanted to look at her again. But now he had to be satisfied with just seeing her out of the corner of his eye. Maybe he imagined it but Raquel was somehow different from the others. Maybe because he saw her for the first time today, or simply because he thought she was incredibly beautiful.

_What was wrong with him?_ He scratched his head and was almost scared to death when his brother wrapped his arm around his shoulder. He seemed to have noticed that Sergio was a little weird and came a bit closer to him, not to allow anyone to overhear.

“What’s happening hermanito?” Andres took a closer look at him.

“What do you mean?” Sergio acted innocent even though he knew exactly what his older brother meant. He didn't want to imagine what would happen, if he knew what was on his mind. But Andres was his brother and recognized it immediately. Okay, admittedly, that wasn't particularly difficult, after all, since Raquel was there, he rarely averted his eyes from her.

“You’re starring, you know.” Andres grinned.

“I’m not.” He insisted.

Andres wanted to know now. “So why have you been looking at her since she entered this bar? Don't you think you're making her feel uncomfortable with it?”

When Andres said that, he looked at him in alarm. What if she really felt uncomfortable about him? He felt so guilty. How exactly should this relationship between them continue? Wait relationship? How was it possible that he was already thinking about the “relationship” between them? Relationship between friends _of course._ That was the first time that he wanted to be friends with anyone from this group. Friends? Oh god something was really wrong with him.

He looked back at Andres who was still waiting for an answer.

“Do you really think she felt uncomfortable about me?” Sergio asked quietly.

“I don’t know, you could ask her.” He proposed.

“What? No!” Sergio said rapidly.

“Why not? Hermanito I can see how you look at her. Everyone can see. Come on you can tell me the truth. You like her, don’t you?” Andres was very quiet so that no one else heard what they were talking about.

So the _truth_ , the _truth_ was...well what was the _truth_? Sergio thought. He really couldn't quite tell. Surely he liked her, that was certain, but what should he tell his brother now? Sergio really doesn’t have the tiniest idea about feelings, so how should he interpret this now?

“I might like her, she seems nice and well, she doesn't look bad and...” 

_Not bad? Seriously Sergio? He asked himself. You idiot, she is beautiful! The most beautiful woman you had ever seen!_

“... but we barley know each other, we haven’t even talked to each other in this two hours and I guess that a human can’t _fall in love_ with a person that never talked to him.” Slipped out of him. He immediately regretted it.

“Now you have the right thoughts.” Andres grinned. “You have a nice pronunciation of “fall in love”, I think I never heard you say that before.”

Sergio blushed and inadvertently looked in Raquels direction. She was like a magnet for him, it was a strange feeling but somehow also something nice. As if he got closer to her he felt even better. She was talking to Silene and Anibal about their favorite films, when Sergio realized these things. His gaze did not turn away from her and he spoke again quietly to his brother who stared at him.

“But seriously, you can't fall in love with someone you have met two hours ago and didn’t even talked to.”

“Oh Sergio, love is not measured with the stopwatch, it just happens, and if that is the case then it is wonderful. Believe me hermanito, love is beautiful. It makes life worth living. You should try that too. Maybe with _her_?”

_With her?_ Sergio thought it was _ridiculous_ even to think about it, not because he didn't want to. No, never in life would he, the quiet and shy man, have a chance with this breathtaking and beautiful woman.

“Sergio please don't think that you are not enough for her, I mean you look good, you have a heart made of gold, you are a wonderful listener, you are patient, you are loving, you are everything a woman can ask for.” Andres was honest with him.

“Andres, yeah maybe that's how I am, but I'm also a lot other things. I'm extremely shy, I can't handle other people's feelings and oh god I don't even know if I can show my own feelings. And isn't that the basis of a relationship?”

“Please don't doubt yourself so much, I'm sure someone will like you the way you are. And I'm also sure that tonight you will have the opportunity to talk to Raquel a bit. Enjoy your life little brother, not for me, but for yourself.” He put his hand on Sergio's shoulder.

…

Raquel was now in an interesting conversation with Silene and Anibal, they talked about their interests, favorite music and films. It seemed as if the group had accepted her. She was very grateful about the warmth and friendliness that everyone shared with her and saw her as part of the group. They even added Raquel to their group chat so she always knew when they would meet.

She talked to everyone and after a while they were in a big conversation and Raquel was able to learn more about all of them. All of them except for Sergio and Andres who had their own talk. They spoke very quietly so that Raquel couldn't hear what it was about. But it was probably none of her business. The only thing that struck her was that Sergio looked at her more often, and when she dared to look in his direction, he looked away as quickly as possible.

Even though their eyes met only for a short moment, Raquel didn't know exactly what it was, but she suddenly felt a slight tingling all over her body. She allowed a small smile, but then returned her attention to the conversation.

_What was that?_ She asked herself.

After Sergio looked at her, she realized that he had been doing that the whole time. It was clear that the brothers were talking about her. While she was thinking about it, suddenly Andres spoke to her. He asked if they could possibly swap seats because he wanted to talk to Daniel and Monica. Raquel agreed, of course, after all, she didn't want to be in anyone's way, or rude or anything. Only when she sat in her new seat did she notice who she was next to. _Sergio._ She was now sitting next to Sergio.

He also just seemed to notice what situation he was in. And the only thing he did was give her a shy smile. So Raquel decided to start. “I guess we both don't know each other yet, do we?” She smiled back.

When she asked him that, Sergio had to admit that he was a bit nervous. Oh god what was so hard about simply answering her and having a normal conversation like two adults?

But reacting normally was pretty difficult when your heart went a little crazy for the first time. However after a short pause he managed to give her an answer and after a few more minutes it wasn't that bad anymore, Sergio noticed. Quite the opposite it was very pleasant to talk to her, he felt on the same level with her.

“Since when have you known Alicia?” He asked interested.

“We have known each other since elementary school, she was always my best friend. She is there for me when I feel bad, but we also have so much fun together. And she was the only friend left after my divorce, because every other friend I had, sided with my ex husband.” She said with a sad smile.

“Oh, I'm sorry about the divorce.”

“No no believe me it's better the way it is now. He was an asshole, he didn't treat me really well you know?”

Sergio immediately understood what she was talking about, but decided that it was not the right time to ask further questions. But if it came to that, he would be there for her and listen to her. He would _always_ be there for her.

The two were silent but looked at each other. They understood each other even without words, which was a good thing because no one else could understand them. They spoke to each other in their own language, even when they were silent. A small smile appeared on Raquel's lips and at that moment Sergio felt happier than ever before, this smile was won over him and he couldn't stop himself from smiling.

“Uhm…what is your job?” Sergio asked, trying to bring up another topic.

“I work for a company, actually all day in the office you know? Nothing exciting. What about you?”

She was glad that he changed the topic because otherwise she would probably have told him everything. She didn't doubt he wasn't listening to her, but she still wasn't entirely satisfied with the idea that she seemed so fragile in front of another person. Although she had to admit that she felt very safe with Sergio and that she would like to tell him her thoughts.

“I am a professor at the university of madrid. I teach criminology.” He answered her question.

“That sounds very exciting, more exciting than my job. I mean, sitting at the desk all day, writing down numbers and comparing them is not really fun.” She admitted.

“Then why don't you do what you enjoy, where you can get up every morning with a smile and look forward to the day? I know that I'm not the best example, that I don't really enjoy my life. I think it could be so much nicer. But I love my job. I enjoy it so much when I see that I can teach people something. You know what I mean?” He looked at her and saw small tears in her eyes.

“Are you okay?” He asked and took her hands in his.

After a few seconds, Raquel realized their hands were touching. And one thing was clear, she felt so safe with him. Everything around them blurred, the only thing she could see was him. It was as if they were sitting alone at this table now, alone in this bar, alone in this city, alone in this _world_.

He looked deep into her eyes and only then did Raquel notice how a tear rolled down her cheek. _What the fuck was wrong with her?_ Did she get emotional now because Sergio told her about his job? 

No, the truth was that when he said how much he loved to go to work and that she should do that too, she had to think about how miserable her life actually was.

She had been alone for years. Of course she was, trust wasn't easy after Alberto had almost destroyed her completely. Sometimes she remembers the days when she could get up with a smile on her face, when she enjoyed life. But that was her old life, now her world was gray and she had no intention of searching for a light or a spark of color. She was tired of searching and hoping. But maybe she didn't have to look for it at all, maybe the light was looking for her, and when she saw Sergio, looking at her with a so loving and caring gaze, she thought that it had just _found her_ at that moment.

...

That with Sergio was definitely a thing. Although she had only known him for a few hours, she felt very comfortable in his presence.

And so they spent the rest of the evening, Raquel remained seated next to Sergio and would sometimes talk to him and sometimes with the others, and Sergio would join her a little during these conversations. After all, he wanted to continue talking to her, even if the others talked with her too.

Everyone had a few more drinks, but Raquel made sure that she didn't drink too much, after all she had to get home somehow, because it didn't look like that Alicia, who was getting drunk, was still able to drive. So Sergio and Raquel shared a drink or two and then only drank alcohol-free.

They laughed a lot, even Sergio, which was very surprising for the group. But then at ten or ten-thirty they decided to go home. So they started, and Raquel thanked them again for the great evening. 

Once outside, Raquel thought about how she would get home now, because Alicia had come with Agata, who lived only a few minutes away from the Hanoi and it was definitely too far for Raquel to walk. So she thought it would be best to find a bus stop and take the bus home. Yesterday's snow was still on the streets and Raquel prayed that a bus would run.

…

Sergio never had so much fun as this evening. And he was pretty sure what it was. _It was her. Raquel._ He tries to hide his silly smile, not that anyone noticed that it just felt like he was a little boy who was in love for the first time. His eyes widened.

_ In love? _

Was he in love? Had he, Sergio Marquina, managed to fall in love in less than four hours? How could that be? Falling in love takes a while, doesn't it? And on top of that he was...well, he was shy, awkward in the presence of other people, he thought he couldn’t even have such feelings for someone, that he would not be able to. But now it had happened, and the feeling wasn't that bad at all. The only thing it did to him was that whenever he thought about her, he had to smile immediately. And that feeling was nice.

When he was outside and wanted to get to his car, Sergio noticed how it was starting to snow. He didn't particularly like it because afterwards you were always wet everywhere. His car was parked a few streets away, and he was just about to cross the street when he saw Raquel doing something on her phone. She was standing under the roof of another building and seemed to be looking for something. He decided that it might be good to go to her and ask if he should take her home, because he knew that Alicia had driven her and that she lived a little further away. Besides, he didn't want her alone in a bus at this hour of the day, who knows which people you would run across.

So he went back and walked to her.

Shortly after Raquel heard someone coming in her direction, she looked up from her phone and saw him. Instantly, she smiled.

Sergio smiled too and stopped in front of her. At first he didn't really know how to start. Nervously, he put his hands in his pockets and took a deep breath.

“Hey.”

“Sergio, what are you doing here?” Raquel seemed surprised but also quite pleased that he was there.

“Err, I thought so maybe I can take you home, then you don't have to take the bus...so only if you want, of course.” He asked shyly, blushing slightly.

Raquel looked at him, impressed. But then he looked down again.

“I’m…I’m sorry maybe it was a bad idea I-“ She interrupted him.

“No no, that would be very nice, I mean if you could take me home. So if it doesn't make any trouble.” She smiled shyly, just as him.

So they walked down the dark streets. They were close together and their arms kept touching. How much Sergio wished that he could just put his hand on her lower back now. Or how would it feel if he could wrap his arm around her and she rest her head on his shoulder? Surely it would be wonderful.

Raquel also noticed that they were pretty close together, probably because it was very cold and she always felt warmer when she got closer to him. She would have loved to just be in his arms and spend a long time in his warmth.

She had to admit it was very _romantic_ right now. It was dark and only because of the light from the street lamp they could still see something. And then the snow, it only snowed a little and when she looked up at Sergio she saw some snowflakes in his curly hair.

She wanted to try something and very carefully touched his hand that was next to hers. He didn't pull away so she decided to take his hand and hold it. Sergio looked at her and the only thing on her face was a little smile. He had to concentrate on not forgetting everything around her as he walked with her through the snow and actually _held her hand._

He didn't think that he would enjoy it so much being around someone like that, but with her it was different. And despite the cold temperature, he was warm again now. Exactly the same warmth he felt when they sat together in the bar and talked.

…

The drive in Sergio’s car was very pleasant for both of them. They kept talking, quietly and calmly. The lights of the city shone through the window of the car and Raquel thought as she looked outside, how lucky she was to meet someone like him. He was so nice to her. He took care of her, she had almost forgotten what it felt like. Quietly, she thanked her lucky stars.

They had arrived at her apartment and Raquel turned to him. Now it was time to say goodbye, but none of them really had any idea how to do it. Should they just say goodbye to each other? No Raquel didn't just want to say goodbye. So she gathered her courage and pulled him into a short but tight hug. When their bodies were pressed against each other, she felt his heartbeat against hers. After a few moments he had also managed to wrap his arms around her to push her even closer to him. When they broke away from the embrace, they still looked deep into each other's eyes. And when he was about to turn around, he heard Raquel’s beautiful voice again and, of course, turned back around.

“Sergio?”

“Hm?”

“Happy birthday.” She whispered.

“Thank you.” He blushed. “How do you know?”

“Monica told me this evening. She said that you feel uncomfortable if I congratulated you, but I thought maybe-“

“Not with you. Mon is right, I usually feel a bit uncomfortable when people are around me or conversations in general...but not with you. In fact I don't know exactly how I do it, but I don't feel uncomfortable with you at all. Quite the opposite.” He smiled.

“Okay then…I’m glad. I also really enjoyed talking with you today.”

There was a short pause where they just stared at each other as if the other was the most beautiful and impressive thing they had ever seen.

“Good night, Raquel.” He said.

“Good night, Sergio. Thank you for taking me home.”

“Always.” And he left.

Raquel fell against her door and slid onto the floor. She smiled stupidly in the mirror that was across from her. And one thing was certain now, she wanted to repeat the hug as quickly as possible.


	3. Novels and poetry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey my readers! 🥰
> 
> I'm sorry that it took me so long to update this again. I hope I will move faster now so that you don't have to wait that long.  
> Thanks to Anna for correcting, without you the chapter would be a lot worse.🤣🤣
> 
> This chapter might trigger some people, so here is a TRIGGER WARNING!!
> 
> Have fun reading!❤️

After that evening Raquel was floating on _fluffy clouds._

In fact, she often caught herself getting up with a smile. Her day itself was also completely different. Her work was no longer stressful for her, she came and went in a good mood. Raquel's nights were better too, she had fewer nightmares, but woke up sweating and trembling from other dreams. Admittedly, she liked these kind of dreams pretty much, oh, if only they were true. Sergio was always in these dreams and did things with her that she had never imagined before.  
  


Oh god. What was she? _A lovesick teenager?_ She rolled her eyes but then had a goofy smile on her lips.

The former inspector hadn't seen Sergio for a week but they stayed in contact. She had his number because he was in the group chat as well as her. She had texted him right after he brought her home that evening and they sent messages to each other late into the night. It had become a kind of ritual and sometimes they would even call each other. Raquel really liked the “time” with him, although she would of course much rather like to meet him, but unfortunately both of them were very busy that week and were almost working overtime.

However they were both sure that they definitely wanted to go out some day. Without the others. Just the two of them. This thought made Sergio particularly nervous. To be alone with her, really alone. But despite this fact it was actually he who asked her on a date. It all happened when they just had their nightly phone call.

…

“...so I thought maybe...we could meet in the next few days? So just the two of us...you know?”

He asked in his most shy and nervous voice he had ever heard. He had stood in front of the mirror all day and practiced how to say it. But in the end he was too worried that she could say no, that he forgot half of it. But before he could collect himself and add something like "only if you want to of course, I totally understand if not", she already had an answer:

“Yes!” She said without thinking any longer.

“Really?”

“Yes Sergio, I would really love that.”

_She said yes!_ He breathed a sigh of relief and smiled brightly. “Okay, well then...” He didn't quite know what to call it now but Raquel took over.

“Then we have a date?”

“…yes, we have a _date._ Um, when do you have time?” He asked.

“I think tomorrow. At seven?”

“Perfect.”

She smiled. “Okay, see you tomorrow.”

They said their goodbyes and hung up.

Sergio couldn't believe it. He will actually have a date with Raquel. A real date. With Raquel. For him it was so unbelievable that he pinched his arm to confirm that this wasn't a dream. He let himself fall back on his bed and stared at the ceiling.

_Did she really just say date? What if I imagined it and then called it a date without her seeing it as one? What if she is uncomfortable with it now?...No, that is unlikely. I mean, why would I imagine something like that? She said it, I'm sure of it._

He was so looking forward to this date, even though his brain was already questioning everything again and doubting that he could ever be so lucky. However, there was still a little problem. How many years ago was his last date? Almost two _decades._ He had absolutely no idea how to do it. They had arranged that he would pick her up from home. But should he maybe bring her flowers or was that too much? Should he open the door of his car for her or was that too cheesy? What should they talk about while eating? Was he supposed to choose the topic or did she want to do that? And most importantly, what happened afterwards? He didn't want to give himself hope or anything, but if she wanted to, then of course he would try his best to do it right.

Oh god, normally Sergio always had everything under control and knew what to expect. But not tomorrow. This fact scared him a little, he had to admit, but on the other hand, he wanted it so _badly._ And this demand was much stronger than his little fear. In the end it was just a date, wasn't it?

It was already quite late and he wanted to go to sleep now. So he put his phone on his nightstand, brushed his teeth and got his pajamas to wear. Then he went to bed and soon fell asleep.

That night he dreamed of _her_.

The next morning Sergio woke up with a smile. He wondered how this worked, looking forward to something so excited but at the same time being so incredibly nervous about it. He couldn't think of anything else all day, of course, and hoped the students wouldn't notice. He gave his lectures as usual but also noticed that he was totally distracted.

He had just finished the last lecture and the students left the classroom when a tall brown-haired man got up from the last row and walked towards him.

“Marcel, what are you doing here?”

The tall man smiled. “Am I imagining it or are you extremely distracted today?”

“I think rather nervous.” Slipped out of him.

His colleague grinned and came a bit closer to him. Marcel eyed his desk and saw what was on Sergio's laptop. He raised his eyebrows.

“10 tips on how to make your first date unforgettable.” He read aloud. “Ohhh, I understand it's a woman you're thinking about. Do you have a date?” He asked innocently.

Sergio immediately blushed and scratched his head. “Um yeah, I have a date…err- actually tonight.”

But before he could continue talking, Marcel interrupted him with a happy expression on his face. “Really Sergio? That's wonderful, I'm very happy for you! Finally you enjoy your life a little.” He proudly patted him on the shoulder.

Sergio rolled his eyes. Even if he used to tell Marcel everything because he was pretty much his like best friend, he was really embarrassed to talk about something like that. After all, it was actually almost the first time that Sergio had a date, and now he should talk about it. That was a level too high, even for the clever university professor.

He looked questioningly at Marcel.

“What’s wrong?”

“Err...I have a question. Have you, I mean...", he hesitated for a second, "Have you ever had a date?”

Sergio sounded like a fifteen-year-old boy asking his big brother for advice on how to act on the first date of his life. And actually it was like that, except for the facts that Marcel wasn’t his big brother and that Sergio was almost _forty years old._

The man smirked. “Yes of course, but the last time was a long time ago. Now I don't do that anymore, because I've realized that I don't enjoy it that much...but why do you ask?”

Sergio shifted uncomfortably. “I...well...I wanted to ask…Marcel I’m scared, I have absolutely no idea how to do it. I'm afraid that I'm doing something wrong or that I'll say something stupid or-“  
  


“Hey calm down, just be yourself.”

“How can you say that I mean look at me, should I really be myself when I am who I am? Because when I'm like that, I'm the last thing a woman would want.”

“This woman has to be pretty special that you think she doesn't like you.”

“She is special. _Very_ special...to me. She's kind, smart, beautiful, she's just perfect. And I'm...well, I'm this weird professor.” He looked down.

“Sergio I'm very sure she will like you the way you are. Just the way you talk about her, she will immediately fall in love with you when you tell her that.” Marcel smiled.

Sergio sighed. For the moment he tried to believe that she might really like him. He was looking forward to his date and went home confident. But before he could get to his apartment, he had to go to the bookstore. He was supposed to get a book for Marcel that he needed for his class.

So he parked the car in front of the bookstore and went inside. Although he didn't like being around people, he liked going to this shop. After all, books were something like his treasures.

And after he found what he was looking for, he decided to buy another book for himself. He walked through the rows of shelves filled with books and looked at them closely.

He didn't know exactly how it happened, but soon he was standing in front of the shelf with the novels. He normally didn’t read novels because it seemed pointless to him, to read about the life of non-existent people. He preferred books where you could learn something.

But now he was suddenly standing there, with the book for Marcel tucked under his arm and looking at all kinds of novels. He was so absorbed in his thoughts that he didn't even notice how he bumped into someone. At first the bookworm started to walk away, but then turned around quickly as he realised. He saw a magazine and a book fall to the floor. Quickly, Sergio bent down to pick it up.

“I’m sorry I didn’t want to-“ When he got up and handed the things back to the woman, his heart beat a little faster as he realized who he had just almost knocked to the ground.

“Raquel?” He smiled happily, a little bit nervous.

“Hi, nice to see you.”

Raquel smiled too. She was really happy to see him, even if she had seen him tonight anyway. She glanced at him, and saw a book that was tucked under his arm, and one of the books that he had from the shelf that was next to them, in his hand.

“I never thought that you were someone who reads novels.” She said and looked a little closer at his book.

“No, I'm not actually either.” He responded and she continued:

“But this is a very nice book, I read it some time ago.” They were pretty close together now, just like a week ago when they walked together through the snow.

“Yes, from what I've read here, it sounds pretty exciting. I think I'll buy it.”

“Oh you know what, you can have mine, I will give it to you.” She suggested.

“No, that’s not necessary, really.” He looked at her.

“No, please, I don’t need it any more.” She gently touched his arm.

Sergio looked at her hand on his arm. There was a strange and unknown warmth in his chest and it felt so good. He looked up at her again and Raquel just smiled softly.

She wasn't sure what it was that made her just touch his arm, but it didn't feel bad, quite the opposite. It seemed as if her heart leaps for joy at the slightest touch with him. And once again she wondered how it was possible that she didn't immediately collapse from happiness when she hugged him a few days ago.

“Do you read this kind of books…I mean…novels?” He broke the silence.

“Um yeah, _novels and poetry_.”

They stood a little longer in front of this shelf and talked about the books. Raquel learned that, unlike her, he almost always spent all his free time reading. She told him that she sometimes did it before going to bed so that she could fall asleep faster.

Sergio wondered why she wanted to fall asleep faster. Maybe she just had trouble falling asleep and read instead of taking pills. He also preferred this method, since he had heard, that these stuff, which are supposed to make you sleep better, could be unhealthy. But then he remembered their conversation a week ago. Raquel had said that her ex-husband didn't treat her well, what if she couldn't sleep because she remembered those times?

_She might even have nightmares_ _._ _.._

He thought worried. 

Trying to lighten her mood, he just spontaneously decided to let the date begin now. Now it was just a matter of finding the right words to ask her what she thought about it. _And hell_ , he prayed that she had time.

“Raquel?” He began, a bit insecure.

She looked up to him, right into his eyes. He could have sworn her gaze had already begged him to ask her. “Yes?”

She asked innocently as if she didn't suspected anything, but Sergio was right. As if he could have read thoughts, she thought exactly the same as him at the moment and just waited for him to ask her.

“I wanted to ask you what do you think if we have our date now. So of course we can also have dinner if you want…” He asked shyly. “…because I would love to.”

Raquel smiled happily. “Yes that would be great...” She responded dreamily.

They kept starring at each other and enjoyed the little moment in which they seemed _again,_ separated from the outside world and only had themselves. The thought seemed a bit scary to Raquel at first but when she realized who was actually standing in front of her, it felt like the safest thing in the world. Just take a break from everything and be with _him_ for a while. It seemed to her the most logical thing there was, and so she started talking again.

“What do you think of going to Hanoi?”

“Um yeah...I like that.”

On the way to the cafe, they walked close together, and after a while Raquel dared to take his hand, again. It was warm, in contrast to hers, which was already quite cold. Sergio sighed gratefully at the gesture but then felt her cold hand against his and immediately wrapped his fingers around hers. She looked up at him smiling. They kept this position and walked along the sidewalk until they reached Hanoi.

When they were inside, they still held hands. You could almost think that neither of them wanted to let go, but when they took their seats, they had to let go. At least for now. Today they sat at a different table than they usually did with their friends. This was a little smaller and they sat across from each other. The waiter came soon and they ordered two cups of coffee.

While they sipped their coffee they began to talk quietly and comfortably with each other. The thought of reading books before falling asleep came back to Sergio's mind and suddenly his curiosity was aroused again. So he asked her about it:

“You said earlier that you only read before going to sleep, may I ask why? Um I mean why don't you read more often?” He said quietly. She looked down and didn't answer at first.

_Great,_ now he had said something stupid. He knew it would eventually happen, but they were just getting started. He panicked, but tried to apologize as quickly as possible.

“Sorry um...was that too personal?” He asked carefully, making sure he wasn't doing any more wrong.

Raquel looked up. “Oh no no, that wasn't too personal. I mean, after all, we're here to get to know each other, aren't we?” She smiled.

He nodded. “Yes of course, but I don't want you to feel forced you know? You don't have to tell me now if you don't want to, just tell me later.” He suggested.

_Wow. This man is really something special._

Raquel thought.

And while she kept looking into his beautiful eyes, which were so full of care and understanding, she wondered what to say to him now. 

Of course she could just lie and say that she usually had trouble falling asleep and did it instead of taking pills, but she somehow didn't want to. She didn't want to tell him lies, but on the other hand, if she told him the whole truth, she would feel extremely fragile and exposed to him. She probably wouldn't be comfortable with it, so she decided to tell only half the truth. Maybe she would tell him everything later, _like he said._

“Well I think I just don't have enough time to do it during the day and...when I read these books...it usually helps me to fall asleep better, I often have nightmares. These stories...they are always so perfect that they somehow make me forget my own miserable life for a moment.” She held back her tears and a sad smile appeared on her lips. “I'm sorry for telling you this, you must be bored…” She looked down again.

“No, no its okay...if you want, you can keep talking...I'll listen to you.” Sergio gave her a tender look.

Raquel was touched by his words. For a long time she believed that there is nobody in this world who cares about her. But then there was this stranger. They had only known each other for two weeks and everything felt so familiar with him. Suddenly she wasn't afraid to tell him anymore. That he might react badly to it in some way or that he would judge her on the basis of prejudice. No, he wouldn't do that, _not him._ And so she looked at Sergio again. She would just tell him, maybe he would even believe her.

“Okay...um where should I start, I'm divorced as you know and...my ex husband, well he wasn't exactly nice to me. Not from the beginning...otherwise I would not have married him, of course. But at some point...it may have been that I came home later than usual, and after that he forbade me to leave the house after 8 p.m. without him. He said it was for my own safety and that otherwise he would have worried about me. And I believed him. I was so naïve .”

She laughed sadly and Sergio looked even more worried.

“Of course he only did that to get control over me. And so it got more and more. He always had to know where I was, he told me what to wear and who I was allowed to meet.” She swallowed hard. “And if I didn't listen to what he said, then...” A tear streamed down her cheek.

“It's okay, you don't have to tell any further.” He caressed the back of her hand with his thumb.

“No, no… I need to.”

He didn't move his hand from hers, and neither did his gaze. If she wanted to talk about it, he would listen to her, of course. He would believe her even if no one else did because he could see it in her eyes. All the pain she had to go through, all that her ex husband did to her, he could see it in her eyes. In each of her _tears_ , everything she said was reflected. And so he gave her a comforting look so that she could continue.

„Um he...he got angry. It's funny, back then I was a police officer.”

“You were a cop?”

She smiled and nodded. “Yes and…I dealt almost every day with women who were victims of domestic violence and I didn't realize that I was exactly the same. It took me a while to admit to myself that I was a victim too. I didn't want that to be true. You know, since I was a child I always dreamed of true love.“ She laughed sarcastically.

“Like my parents, they met at school, I think they were both fifteen or so. Well, I thought with him, I didn't meet him when I was fifteen, but when I was twenty-three, I thought he was special. My plan was that we would stay together forever, with kids, house and a garden and stuff. That's why it was really hard for me to let go, you know what I mean?”

Sergio nodded, still shocked at what she said.

“Anyone else would have said I should leave him right away but I don't know I…I just couldn't. It’s not that I still loved him, no, I think you are disgusted by your husband when he hits you for the first time. I was too. Not consciously, first you look for the fault in yourself, ask yourself what you did wrong or try to convince yourself that it was just a slippage...but deep inside you knew all along how sick this is. You just don't want to admit it at that moment, because the man in front of you is actually still the same one who brought you flowers on a normal day or gave you sweet compliments, at least you hold on to this belief. But suddenly one day you wake up and take care not to step on the squeaky floorboard, so he won't wake up and be angry already in the morning. You go to the bathroom and lift your T-shirt to apply cream to the bruises on your body, leaving the door open and unlocked so that he can make sure you don't do anything stupid. When you stand there and look in the mirror..you don't know when, but sooner or later it clicks. Suddenly that switch flips and you realize little by little what you've gotten yourself into. But if I had left him then...I would have probably lost my existence. I thought that if I got divorced that I would have failed in the eyes of my family. Especially for my father, he liked Alberto. Of course he didn't know what he was doing to me. And he died, believing that Alberto and I really loved each other.” She no longer held back her tears.

Sergio saw her crying and suddenly felt a pain in his chest. He didn't want her to be sad. He felt helpless, he would have loved to just take her in his arms and calm her down with loving words.

“Raquel?” He breathed and she looked up at him.

“Would you mind if...if I take you in my arms? You don't have to say yes, I just thought...” But he couldn't finish because she came over to him and sat down next to him.

“Please.” Raquel whispered. “Please hold me.”

Sergio didn't hesitate a second and immediately put his arm around her shoulder. She leaned her head against his shoulder and cried silently. He continued to stroke her arm and let her. They were sitting in the back of the café and almost nobody could see them, so Raquel thought it would be okay to cry, even when they were in public. After all, at that moment only Sergio saw her, and this fact made her feel so safe. Just sitting here, in his arms, knowing that he believed her, that she could trust him, made her feel so _safe._

A while passed and both remained seated in their comfortable position. Raquel calmed down a little and slowly lifted her head off Sergio's shoulder. She looked at him.

“Are you feeling better?” He asked, still caressing her arm with his hand.

“Yes, much better,” _because of you._ She wanted to add.

“I‘m glad.” He smiled. “Um…do you want to go for a walk in the park?” Sergio asked.

She agreed and was thankful that he suggested this, maybe it would then be possible for her to think of something else. For example about the date with Sergio, which she actually just had. After all, she wanted to talk about other things than just about herself and her terrible past. But she was also very grateful to him for listening to her. She just hoped he believed her.

So they left the café. Sergio paid, even if it took a bit of persuasion that Raquel let him. He kept saying that after all it was him who invited her. She giggled at his enthusiasm. But then Raquel made him promise that she would pay the next time, regardless of the circumstances. Convincing him was pretty easy, probably because with that, she was inviting him to a second date.

The park wasn't far from Hanoi and they went there. This time Raquel didn't take his hand but his arm and held it close to her. She looked at him and grinned. Sergio's gaze stayed forward and only saw her out of the corner of his eye.

“What?” He chuckled.

“Nothing.” She replayed and leaned her head against him. “I am just _happy.”_

“Me too.”

He said and thought about how incredible it was, that he was in such a situation. Maybe a month ago he would never have dreamed that he would _ever_ walk through the park like this. That a woman with whom he had just been on a date was walking close to him and that he might just be falling in love with her. It all seemed so new and unfamiliar to him, but on the other hand also so beautiful and he could surely say it was because of her.

He sighed. “It’s incredible…”

“What is incredible?” She asked with a confused expression on her face.

“That I'm here with you right now.” His expression softened.

Raquel didn't seem to understand. “How do you mean that?”

“I mean that...you know I never thought that someone like you would date someone like me.”

“Someone like me, huh?” She smirked.

“Yes, you are...pretty, smart, gentle...you are _perfect_. Why would you date someone like me?” He said without really thinking about what he was actually saying to her.

Raquel stopped walking and smiled.

“Someone like me would date someone like you because you are perfect too. You are handsome, intelligent and most of all you are very respectful to me. Not many men are the way you are. I don't know if I would be able to date someone again or get involved in _this_ kind of relationship. But with you...with you it's different. It feels…I don’t know…right to do this. Thanks to you.“ She said with shining eyes.

Sergio only responded with a shy smile and suggested to keep walking. He pretended to be calm and relaxed, but it felt like he was about to explode with joy. He looked at her.

“Do you mean it?”

“Of course I mean it."

A temporary silence settled over the area before she spoke up again.

"Shall we sit down?"

She pointed to a bench and he nodded.

They went in the direction of the bench that was under a large tree. It was slowly beginning to bloom and the birds that sat on the branches twittered the most beautiful medodies. You could tell that spring was slowly arriving. They sat down, facing each other.

“Can I ask you something?” She broke the silence.

“Yeah, sure.”

She took his hand in hers. “Why are you so insecure about… _that_?” She looked down at their hands.

He shifted uncomfortable. “Umm…well the reason is rather embarrassing.” He said, scratching the back of his head.

“Mind telling me?” She smiled.

Sergio smirked. “I…I um…I never had a serious relationship, so I always thought that it would be impossible for anyone to see me _like this,_ you know what I mean?”

“Yes yes I understand, so that means I do impossible things now?”

He laughed joyfully. “Well… But don't you have anything to say about the fact that I'm almost still a virgin?”

“You are a virgin?” She asked, pretending to be surprised to tease him a little.

“No! No of course not!”

The professor was clearly embarrassed but Raquel was able to take this feeling away quickly by starting to laugh. He looked at her in amazement until he smiled a bit, realizing that it had been a joke.

He was a bit surprised how easy it was with her, how easy she could make him laugh. And it wasn't that embarrassing to tell her all these things, he knew she wouldn't judge him for it or anything. They could just laugh about it together, without worrying.

Without worrying about anything. _That was it._

In the presence of the other it was all so _carefree._ Raquel hadn't felt this feeling for a long time and had almost forgotten how it felt and what it meant to just enjoy life and not worry about anything else. This thought touched her.

She turned serious. “So um I think it doesn't depend on how many relationships you have already had or whether you are still a virgin, on how you appear to the people around you. Maybe the right ones weren't there yet.”

“Yeah that could be true…but maybe I just found the right one.” He said softly.

Raquel smiled in delight. This man couldn’t be true. He was so…perfect.

She looked around. It was a really sunny day, in contrast to a week ago when it had snowed so much. The snow was almost completely thawed and now you could go out with a thin jacket. She looked up at the sky and saw the birds flying around. She noticed how Sergio's gaze never left her.

“What?” She said, smiling without looking at him.

He quickly looked away. “Nothing.” He couldn't help but smile a little.

Now Raquel turned her head in his direction and grinned.

“Even though I saw you stare at me for two full minutes I won't ask you now, why.” He turned back to her and was clearly embarrassed.

She looked in his eyes. “You really never had a relationship?”

“Uh no, actually not yet, no. Well maybe something like that but never anything serious, you know? It was at university and she was very nice, we had a lot of the same interests, but I think she didn't take it all that seriously and then left me for a good-looking athlete. After that I never had a relationship again. But that never really bothered me, I think. I got along with my life in which I was alone, in which books were my best friends and the only contact I had was my big brother.”

“Wait you want to tell me you never had sex _since college?!”_ Raquel asked in astonishment. The idea was really unimaginable for her.

“Well, after that maybe once…or twice but I can confirm that I haven't had it in the last ten years.”

“That’s _really_ a long time.”

“It may be, yes.”

For Raquel it was still unbelievable to hear that from _this_ man. She wondered how such a thing was possible, because it seemed impossible to her, although she had to admit that she had not been satisfied with her sex life in recent years either. 

But she knew what she was missing while he was probably still fed up with his last time. Maybe his ex had just never been that good, which is why he didn't want it now. That seemed pretty logical to her, you couldn't want anything you don’t like. But she was still curious if he didn't like it in general or if there was a way that he might like it.

It was slowly getting darker and they decided that they would have something to eat and he would bring her home. And so they were back in his car that he had parked in front of the bookstore. They drove down the streets and this time Sergio already knew the way to Raquel's apartment.

So they stood in front of her apartment and Sergio turned to her. “Can I maybe accompany you upstairs?” He asked, smiling shyly.

“That would be nice, yes.”

Maybe her dream that she had at night would not come true today, but she was more than overjoyed that she had this date with Sergio. And as she said, they would be doing it again soon. Very soon.

Now they stood in front of Raquel's front door one more time and Sergio looked around. _What should they do now?_ He was even more insecure than Raquel and so she took his hands, stood on her tiptoes and gave him the softest kiss on his cheek.

Sergio felt his heart almost explode with happiness. He couldn't believe what had just happened. She had given him a little kiss on his cheek! He had actually just been able to feel her soft and gentle lips on his face. This day couldn't get any better. 

In his bliss, he just smiled softly and when she bent her head back, she looked him in the eyes with the same expression on her face.

“Thank you for the nice day, I enjoyed it very much.” She said gently.

His gaze was so tender and she really had to hold back...not kissing him straight on his lips, which by the way also looked so incredibly soft. But she didn't want to rush anything to regret it afterwards. Actually she was sure that she wouldn’t regret anything, but she just didn’t want to risk anything in _this_ matter.

“I enjoyed it a lot too, you really are a great woman, you know.”

She chuckled shyly, overwhelmed with joy. “Thank you.”

Both stayed a little longer in their warm and soothing bubble, just looking at each other until Sergio broke the silence, unwillingly. “Okay then, see you soon, Raquel.”

Raquel also said goodbye and with these words he turned around and left. She looked after him dreamily and leaned against her door frame. Was she dreaming or was that just really happening? A blissful smile appeared on her lips and she made her way into her apartment and then into the sheets of her bed where, like almost every night, she dreamed of him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!!

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and kudos are really appreciated <3


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